In Episode 2 of The Ultraspeaking Podcast (Apple | Spotify | Youtube) Tristan and I dive into the essential principles of Ultraspeaking.

In Episode 2 of The Ultras

These principles contain strategies to handle pressure, recover swiftly, and find flow in speaking.

Here’s a brief recap to take with you into the new year:

Principle #1: Speak Before You Think

When you wait too long, doubt will creep in. So trust your gut and start speaking.

As a famous improv teacher once noted: “Don’t wait for great ideas. Trust your first idea and make it great.”

Principle #2: Choose One Thing

What’s the one idea you want to be tattooed into people’s brain? That’s your One Thing. 

Navigating speaking gets easier when you have a north star to follow.

Principle #3: Breathe

Getting lost is a natural part of speaking. When in doubt, breathe. 

What was your One Thing again? Use the breath to reconnect to what matters most.

Principle #4: Feel What You Say

People don’t listen to words as much as they feel energy and intent.

Be sure to care deeply about what you say. That way, others will too.

Principle #5: End Strong

Doubt creeps in toward the end of speaking. Pay it no mind.

According to Sam Harris, American neuroscientist and author of Free Will, this means two things:

1. You don’t know what thought you are going to think next
2. You don’t know why you think the thoughts you think

Essentially, this means that you have no control over what goes on in your brain. You may think you do. In fact, the thought may have crossed your mind that said “No way. I don’t agree with this.”

Right, but how did that thought originate?

And what if another reader had a different thought, like “Wow, I’m intrigued.” And another reader: “Whoa, this is trippy.” Where do these thoughts come from? And how can three different people react to an idea in three different ways?

In The Mind is Flat, by Nick Chater, the author argues that our mind works like a mysterious black box. We don’t really know what goes on inside it . . . all we see are the outputs.

The outputs are the thoughts we become conscious of. For example, “I’m hungry.”

If we try to investigate “why did I think ‘I’m hungry’” — we could arrive at a series of logical conclusions:

• It’s dinner time.
• My body hasn’t had food in 5 hours.
• I saw a commercial for hamburgers.

We become satisfied by this explanation and assume that the “I’m hungry” thought is a perfectly reasonable, well-explained phenomenon. But it’s not that simple.

Instead, the line of thinking we used to justify our thought — was an example of improvised reasoning. We don’t actually know what happened in the mysterious black box of our minds, but we’ve gotten very good at creating a story around it.

In fact, the Chater’s entire premise is this:

Our mind is an improvisational machine that rapidly makes meaning on the fly.

A thought occurs. We don’t know why, but our mind is already busy making up reasons for it.

What does this imply? A few things:

1. Don’t believe everything your mind tells you.
2. There is no “right” thought. (In fact, Adyashanti even says “there’s no such thing as a true thought.”)
3. Our thoughts don’t belong to us.

This last idea is particularly interesting to me. 

Our thoughts don’t belong to us.

Despite all the advances in neuroscience, psychology, and beyond — we still don’t understand why the mind thinks what it thinks. And that’s why, according to Sam Harris, we don’t have free will. We aren’t the ones who decide what thoughts to think. We just experience them and their consequences.

And this idea brings great freedom.

Freedom from negative thinking

It’s freeing to know that your negative thinking doesn’t define you:

• Being nervous about a presentation
• Imagining yourself blanking, freezing, stumbling
• Worrying about failure

These thoughts occur at random. They pop up in your head unannounced. If you don’t get to choose them, you don’t need to believe them.

Freedom from coming up with ideas

It’s time to change your relationship with thinking altogether. It’s not a process you control. It’s a process you observe.

Don’t struggle to think of good ideas. Just observe. Listen to your brain at a distance. Watch the thoughts pass. Then, jump onto the one that feels worth exploring.

That’s what speaking is. 

An improvised exploration of thought. A spontaneous, unpredictable process.

At first, it’s scary. So you grip the steering wheel tightly. You monitor mirrors, change lanes constantly, and look for potholes, signs, and shortcuts.

But one day you discover the brain’s self-driving feature. You switch it on and slowly release your grip. At some point, you relax and shift to the passenger seat. Eventually, you lean back, put your feet up, and enjoy the ride.

Of course . . . it’s still the same ride . . . but somehow the journey became more enjoyable the moment you stopped controlling it.

Be honest. Your friend asks you to speak at their wedding. How do you react? Would you feel excited? Scared? Panicked? Would you try and find a way out of it?

• “I would have loved to, but I won’t be in town that day.”
• “But I haven’t even told you the date yet…”

That question FREAKED ME OUT back in the day. 

Pre-Ultraspeaking, I gave one wedding speech (for my older sister) with a full 2-page script printed out IN MY SHAKY, SWEATY HANDS. A terrifying moment, if I’m honest.

Since then, I’ve given 2 more wedding speeches without a script or word-for-word memorization. Not only were they more impactful for the audience, but they were also 1000x more enjoyable for me. More enjoyable for all three phases: the preparation, the speaking, and the post-speech glow.

Now, I’ve suffered through my fair share of terrible wedding speeches. Too long, too boring, too rehearsed, too read. But I’ve also seen a handful of fantastic ones. The ones that feel like they are delivered in the moment. Authentic, spontaneous, loving, and oftentimes funny. 

I used to wonder how they did it, what magical gene they possessed that I didn’t.

How did they make it look so effortless?!

Well, everything has changed now. I now know that that kind of speaking is within everyone’s grasp. 

I know because over the past 4 years, Michael and I have coached all sorts of people to give these authentic, funny, no-script speeches. The kind of speech that feels like you. The kind of speech people hear and think: “I wish I could do that.”

Well, I’m here to say that you can. Everyone can. All you need are 3 ingredients:

1. Your “one thing”

Every great speech has a central message. That’s your “one thing.” It’s one idea, usually one sentence, that captures the essence of what you truly want to say. 

For example, In my last two wedding speeches, here were my “one things”:

• Amaury doesn’t see life the way you and I do, which makes life by his side a constant adventure.
• Thomas taught me to dream the impossible, and then believe in it.

2. Your Pillars

As you think about what you want to say, you start remembering anecdotes, stories, and examples. These are small moments in time that beautifully illustrate your key message. 

For example,

• The time I answered Amaury’s phone call at 8 on a weekday and ended up 100km away, having dinner in a one-fo-a-kind restaurant, then watching the stars lying on ancient ruins.
• The time Thomas and I imagined organizing a recurring 200+ go-karting competition for our college, or a go-Kart race in the middle of a city… and then we did it. 

Your pillars and your “one thing” combine to create a bow & arrow. It’s one of the most powerful tools in all of speaking. 

3. Your Practice

Here’s where it all comes together in a way that feels natural and non-rehearsed. 

Set a timer for 5 minutes and try to deliver your speech without any notes. You may stumble, blank, and even forget all your stories. It doesn’t matter. Just keep going. Find a way to make it to the end. 

Once you finish, take a moment to reflect on:
1. what you liked, and
2. what was missing

Then do it again. This time it should feel a bit better. There will still be gaps in your memory, but certain parts will begin to stick more. Pay attention to what sticks, and what doesn’t.

Then, over the next few days, do a rep in the morning and a rep in the evening. No script. No notes. The only rule is to practice as if it were the real thing every time (e.g. don’t stop whenever you mess up)

During this process, you’ll notice that your “one thing” may slightly change, or that your pillars may get rearranged. That’s normal. As you practice in this way, your content will naturally self-organize into it’s optimal form.

With every rep, you’ll find yourself using different words to tell the same speech. This keeps your delivery fresh and spontaneous. By the end of the week, you will feel as if you could tell the stories in your sleep. That’s the point.

Now, you’re ready. Get a good night’s sleep, get into an awesome state on the big day, and trust that in the moment you’ll know exactly what to do. 

Recap

1. One thing: a single sentence of what you want people to remember 
2. Pillars: key bookmarks of stories to trigger your brain (3 to 5 key words)
3. Practice: the kind that gives you confidence but doesn’t imply memorizing word for word.

This is what it feels like to be a natural. 

The people who are the best at this don’t even realize they’re doing it. They just find themselves thinking of stories while walking the dog. They go through an imaginary speech in the shower and think: yeah, that was pretty good. 

They do all this in their head, but it doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like effort. So they don’t even realize they’re doing it.

If you’re like most people, you’re probably preparing the wrong way. You’re working too hard. You’re doing too much. And you’re likely not enjoying the process. If speaking is an important part of your life, this is not sustainable. 

That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this approach. It really works. It feels great. And it’s a huge time-saver. 

Fair warning: once you try it, you’ll never want to go back.

Imagine you’re giving an important presentation at your job. All the senior executives are there and your project’s future depends on this presentation. Your palms are sweaty, your throat is dry, you’re trying to remember what you memorized…

WAIT. PAUSE. Did you memorize?

Memorization is a mistake

Memorizing your presentation beforehand is a huge mistake. A script takes away the spontaneity from your speaking. It turns you into a performer rather than a conversationalist and instead of connecting with your audience, you come across as rehearsed and unnatural.

While it is possible to memorize your presentation and sound genuine, it’s an insane amount of work, and putting in this kind of effort every single time you’re speaking to a group of people is impractical.

Instead, Tristan and Michael offer a better way to prepare for your next presentation in Episode 3 of The Ultraspeaking Podcast. 

Here are the main points:

The bow & arrow technique

Every great presentation has two parts:

1. The message
2. The evidence, stories, data that make this message resonate

Think of your presentation in terms of a bow and arrow. The arrow is your message. The bow makes it stick. 

Often, we tend to stack the bow with too many unnecessary details. We spend hours memorizing arcane statistics, honing every word, memorizing facts, only to find our arrow missing the mark. Our core message gets lost in the midst of information overload. As Michael says in the episode, “everyone can speak. What’s missing is clarity.”

When you’re practicing your presentation, your first goal is to figure out what you actually want to say. What’s the one thing that matters most?

To find it, start with a message. Then, gather stories and experiences that make your message resonate. In the process, what you thought your message was changed. This inspires even stronger examples that better support your new message. The process continues until your arrow is sharp and your bow is full of great stories. 

Although this can be a messy, non-linear process, it doesn’t involve a lot of effort. The majority of your time is spent brainstorming stories instead of memorizing facts. Once you get your bow & arrow, the heavy-lifting is done. All that remains in practice.

You don’t need your notes

How do you practice speaking without notes? One strategy is to vary the time intervals of your speech until you are completely satisfied with the message. For example, if you have a 7-minute speech, practice speaking for 5 minutes. Then reduce the time to 2 minutes; then go back to 4 minutes; then cut it down to 1 minute.

Practicing in this way creates pressure for your brain to navigate on the fly. Shorter time intervals force you to say what matters. Longer time intervals help you become comfortable with adding details that strengthen your point.

Each round, you give your presentation in a slightly different way. Sometimes, you forget a key story, but find a way to weave it back in later. Other times you skip a section entirely, only to realize it wasn’t all that important.

Through the process, you build a deep familiarity with your content. Words and facts are no longer crutches for your point. The message becomes your compass. The stories serve as your map. You no longer need notes to navigate.

By the time you’re done, you’ll feel like you can give the presentation in your sleep. 
On game day, you’ll come across as fresh and spontaneous and it won’t feel much different than practice, which was the entire point all along. 

Conclusion

If this strategy appeals to you, make sure to follow two key rules:

1. Never break character. Treat each practice round like a real speech. Do not stop and restart the timer, even if you mess up. 
2. End strong on every round, no matter what.

Your brain will improve at thinking under pressure, which is the ultimate skill for speaking. That’s why the next time you’re preparing for a presentation,

1. Ditch your notes,
2. Create your bow & arrow,
3. Practice with the exercise above.

You might not remember that the turtle trudged at 3 mph, racing the hare who sprinted at 47 mph but you will remember that slow and steady wins the race–the main point you are trying to make. 

We discovered a fascinating phenomenon: when you stop thinking, you speak better.
 
Here’s why.

The more present you are with yourself, the better you connect with others.

When you are present, you’re no longer caught up in worry, doubt, and self-criticism. With your attention no longer tied up in self-judgement, your mind is freed up to operate on instinct.
 
Suddenly, you become more open to flashes of inspiration. You can go off-script in favor of content that is more creative and impactful.
 
With every inspired path you follow, your audience feels a refreshing sense of realness. They feel your presence, your spontaneity, and your willingness to embrace a more natural way of speaking.

The less you think, the more you feel.

When you let go of thinking, your mind is freed up to notice the subtler details within you. You are tuned into your mood, your energy, and your original intention. You focus more on sharing your truth through emotion. You speak less from the head, and more from the heart. You connect.
 
By focusing less on the mind, you focus more on the audience. You sense their energy, you notice their reactions, and you relax into a more conversational atmosphere. You are more willing to be vulnerable, to share personal stories. You allow yourself to pause and breathe.
 
Worry, doubt, and insecurity disappear.  You are left embracing your most authentic, insightful version of you. You ditch your “public speaking persona” and show up as yourself. You speak normally. Suddenly public speaking becomes no different than what you do every single day of our lives. And with that, you feel intense freedom.

Presence is the ultimate form of preparation.

You can never truly prepare. You don’t have control over what people think and you can’t predict what people will say. You can spend your time preparing for as many scenarios as possible, or you can loosen your grip on the future and focus on your ability to stay present.
 
At Ultraspeaking, we believe that our best ideas come in the moment. We’ve seen thousands of people perform better when they ditch their script, throw away their notes, and speak on-the-spot. When given the freedom to let go of preparation, people come alive.
 
Presence is the ultimate idea generator. You let go of thinking and gain VIP access to a swirling pool of creativity, spontaneity, and inspiration. You see new connections appear out of nowhere, and you are taken to places you’ve never fully explored.
 
You go for the ride and feel exhilarated by your own discoveries. When you finish, you look back on your preparation and see that you skipped a few points and forgot a few details, yet the result was far better.  Your heart helped your brain drop the less salient to focus on the best parts. Through this process of presence, you are authentic, and you connect.

Meet Ruby. (*name changed for privacy)

She’s a product manager with a big secret: speaking anxiety.

But nobody would suspect it.

She comes across as capable, poised, and confident to her boss and her co-workers.

However, what people don’t see is that Ruby works to the point of exhaustion. She never stops preparing for meetings. Her heart pounds at the thought of being put on the spot. 

Every day Ruby fears having a panic attack in front of her co-workers. She imagines how one moment could crumble her entire career. The thought of humiliation haunts her constantly.

Then one day, something terrible happens.

Ruby gets promoted.

Now she has to speak to senior leaders and present to entire departments. Her boss even asks her to say a few words at the next company-wide all hands.

All of a sudden her calendar explodes and she has no time to prepare for anything.

Ruby’s anxiety levels are through the roof.

The stakes are wild and the days are starting to feel unbearable.

Everybody congratulates Ruby on all her “success,” but deep down she fantasizes about quitting.

Life shouldn’t be this miserable . . . should it?

Break the anxiety cycle

Work is stressful for a lot of people. And stress bitters the taste of life.

Ruby is not alone. There are millions of people struggling with speaking anxiety. 

Most of them are suffering in secret.

We’d like that to change.

That’s why we hosted a special discussion on what it takes to overcome speaking anxiety.

We took questions, shared resources, and suggested training plans for the new year.

Here’s the link to watch the replay: https://youtu.be/D6svAsYWf38?t=6

Watch for yourself or on behalf of a colleague. They’ll thank you for it.

Speaking is brainstorming out loud

Speaking is thinking through ideas as you go

Speaking is a subconscious process

Speaking is more fun when it’s spontaneous

Speaking is more effective with a powerful intention

Speaking is more interesting when you’re interested in what you’re saying

Speaking is more impactful when you believe in what you’re saying

Speaking is trusting yourself in the moment

Speaking is something you already know how to do

Speaking is harder when you’re nervous

Speaking is easier when you’re excited

Speaking is not supposed to be perfect

Speaking is an extension of your personality

Speaking is healing

Speaking is worth doing

I used to hate dancing.

I remember my first hip hop dance class. If you’re ever looking for a reason to feel bad about yourself, I highly recommend it.

Immediately, the choreography felt impossible to learn. Every step felt awkward and unnatural. As I fumbled through the footwork, I felt like the malfunctioning piece in an otherwise well-oiled machine.

Needless to say, I didn’t go back.

I proved my theory: dancing just wasn’t for me.

A few weeks later, I complained to my friend Gio about this traumatic experience and sought some advice on how to tackle my insecurity around dancing.

Gio, a 35-year-old Wim Hof instructor who climbs snowy mountains in his underwear, told me something I’ll never forget.

“Most people want to try to learn how to do something. But me, I just go out and do it.”

Feeling inspired, I went home that night, popped in my headphones, put on a blindfold, and danced my heart and soul out.

On the outside, it must have looked hilarious and a bit insane.

But on the inside, I was having a blast. For the first time in my life, I actually felt good dancing.

All of a sudden, I found myself waking up in the morning, itching to throw on my headphones and blindfold and start moving my body to the beat.

A few weeks later, I felt so good dancing that I mustered the courage to take off the blindfold.

My cat wasn’t impressed with my moves, but I was enjoying myself too much to care.

Soon after, I became curious about what else was possible.

I found myself watching Youtube videos of incredible dancers doing wizardry with their bodies. They all had their own moves, their own styles, and their own interpretations of the beat. It was incredibly liberating to see and encouraged me to continue my living room dances.

And before I knew it, within a month of talking to Gio, I found myself falling in love with dancing.

Like most people, I used to think I needed to learn how to be a good dancer in order to enjoy dancing.

Now I realize I had it backward.

I needed to learn to enjoy dancing in order to become a good dancer.

If you’re insecure about a skill—be it dancing, singing, or speaking—do yourself a favor and learn to enjoy it first.

Be wary of instructors who focus on teaching you what to do.

Instead, find someone who believes that you already have what it takes.

Find someone who inspires you to build the confidence to actually do the thing you want to be doing.

After all, the whole point of self-expression is not to try to learn how to do it.

It’s to just go out and do it.

One of my favorite tricks to play on CEOs and entrepreneurs is to ask them, “Tell us about your company.”

Immediately, some jump into the weeds. Others jump into a story. A select few give beautifully crafted answers that position their business in a heroic light.

No matter what they say, I always respond with the same question to everyone in the audience:

“How did the speaker FEEL about his company?”

They never see it coming.

Immediately, a sheepish wave of awareness fills the room as people realize that the entire answer had been devoid of emotion.

Having seen this over and over, I know the next thing I say will hit people right in the gut—because deep down we know it to be true.

I look the speaker right in the eye, and in a Mr. Miyagi moment, I ask him:

“If you don’t feel anything while you speak, how do you expect us to feel anything?”

Elevator pitches are emotional opportunities in disguise.

There’s a famous quote in sales:

“People don’t buy on logic. They buy on emotion.”

If you want people to buy into your elevator pitch, you can’t rely on logic alone.

You have to feel.

But you can’t fake this. You can’t just say the same words with more passion and enthusiasm and call it a day.

For this to be real, you need to shift your focus to a better question, such as:

• What do you truly love about your company?
• What about it genuinely inspires you?
• Why should we care about it?

Whatever you say next needs to come from the heart.

People don’t just buy into your elevator pitch. They buy into you.

And in the end, we probably won’t remember most of what you tell us anyway.

But we’ll never forget how you made us feel.

“Did I ever tell you why I picked you and not the other coaches?”

Matthew, the managing partner of a large debt and equity fund, had been working with us for 4 weeks.

He is smarter than I am. He may even be smarter than you are. It’s utterly fascinating to watch his brain work. Lightning fast and razor sharp, it’s like being around a problem solving Ferrari.

When Matthew speaks, all the correct information is there. It’s logical, rational, and to-the-point.

But Matthew hates speaking to audiences he doesn’t know well. He feels tremendous tension and unease. He rushes through his content, even when he knows it inside out. When he’s holding a microphone, it makes things exponentially worse.

All he wants is to get off the hot seat.

Thankfully, he understands the value of coaching to achieve peak performance, so he had his assistant reach out to the top speaking coaches in LA, UltraSpeaking included.

When we met with Matthew for the first time, he shared what he wanted:

“I want to become a better speaker. I want to have better vocal variety. I want to look more confident when I’m speaking.”

He wanted help for a key event he had coming up.

Matthew chose to work with us, and one month into our coaching, he said:

– “Did I ever tell you why I picked you and not the other coaches?”

– “No. Why?”

– “All the other coaches wanted was to focus on building a great speech for my event. The plan was to craft the content, then work on delivery. Their theory was that if I nailed this speech, I would become a better speaker as a result.”

– “So why did you pick us?”

– “Well, you had the opposite approach. You said we’d ONLY focus on helping me FEEL GOOD speaking.

Your theory was that the moment I’d start feeling good, most of my speaking issues would simply fade away.

It made a lot more sense to me, and it also sounded like much more fun.”

Most people know what they want, but not what they need.

Sadly, many coaches give their clients what they say they want, instead what they actually need.

But what’s the point of looking like a great speaker if you feel horrible inside?

And what if I told you that if you spend your time learning tips on how to improve your skills as a speaker when you don’t feel good speaking, your problem will only get worse.

Don’t get me wrong, we love sharing tips, tweaks, and techniques to improve your skills as a speaker, but we only do it once we’ve tackled what we believe to be the most important piece of the speaking puzzle:

Getting you to feel great speaking.